Dr. Lenny Kristal
In all likelihood emotional stability, is shaped early on in life. If we come from a family with a history of emotional volatility or mental instability or just plain high anxiety and nervousness, then as children we may inherit a disposition for these types of problems, although they may not actually play themselves out.
This does not mean however that we can’t do something to actively combat emotional instability. The burgeoning fields of neuroplasticity and cognitive behavioral techniques, allow us to work our way more calmly and logically through faulty thinking strategies in the face of stressful situations and problems.
From a practical standpoint, emotional stability helps us to keep a clear and reasonably level head, when faced with difficulties and frustrations. It means that when we are confronted with the ups and downs of life, we can divorce our emotions from the realities of these situations well enough, to avoid letting our feelings cloud the issues.
This isn’t always easy. Sometimes we feel intense emotional pain and it’s hard to keep back the tears, or curtail outbursts in instances where we should be practicing more control. If we have strong needs for approval from others to counteract our own negative feelings of self-worth, a harsh comment or rejection can wound our sensitivities to such an extent, that we lose sight of reality and we overreact.
Generally speaking well-adjusted people are socially adept and professionally proficient and hold things together consistently, not just in a sporting or public context but in private or intimate situations too. Emotional stability is the bedrock that weaves through the tapestry of their healthy interactions.
In an earlier blog at Neuroslam I suggested that, in common parlance terms, the more ‘neurotic’ you are the less adaptable you are likely to be and sharing inner thoughts or discussing matters openly is a tough ask. Not surprisingly so-called neurotic people will experience negative emotions, such as worry, frustration, irritability and guilt. Additionally an excess of instability can trigger unhappiness or even disturbed patterns of behaviour, significantly impeding peak sports performances.
There is a flip side to this though. Being overly stable may play out as self-defeating due to the failure to express feelings that ordinarily would engage or reflect real emotions. It can be argued therefore that stability is all about degree and as with many things in life, it’s the middle ground that counts.
So where do you stand? How emotionally stable are you? Here’s a short questionnaire to test yourself. (By the way, this questionnaire is not a scientific measurement. Your score and results are derived from my own clinical experience and are meant to provide you with guidelines only.)
Question 1
Does your mood often fluctuate up and down?
YES/NO
Question 2
Do you feel “miserable” for no real reason?
YES/NO
Question 3
Are you an irritable person?
YES/NO
Question 4
Are your feelings easily hurt?
YES/NO
Question 5
Do you tend to panic easily?
YES/NO
Question 6
Do you often tend to feel “fed up”?
YES/NO
Question 7
Are you often troubled by feelings of guilt?
YES/NO
Question 8
Would you call yourself a nervous person?
YES/NO
Question 9
Are you a worrier?
YES/NO
Question 10
Would you say you are highly strung or tense?
YES/NO
Question 11
Do you worry long after an embarrassing experience?
YES/NO
Question 12
Do you feel comfortable with yourself?
YES/NO
Question 13
Do you often feel lonely?
YES/NO
Question 14
Are you often filled with doubts about things?
YES/NO
Question 15
Do you suffer with your “nerves”?
YES/NO
Question 16
Do you get stressed out easily?
YES/NO
Emotional Stability, refers to the tendency to experience negative emotions. Those who score high may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish the ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.
At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.
Give yourself 1 point for every YES answer.
A score of less than 8 puts you on the emotionally stable side of things. The closer to zero your score the more ‘unemotional’ you’re likely to be. A score of 2 or less implies a tendency towards extremity.
Your score suggests you’re generally a relaxed person with a level of emotionality that helps you cope adequately with the kinds of stress that may plague others. The lower your score the more laid back you are and little in life will frustrate or disturb you. If you worry it's because you have a problem to deal with, not because you are anxious or depressed. And if you feel guilty it’s usually with good cause for you are not one to invent problems in the way that a “catastrophizer” or hypochondriac might do.
On the sports field you’ll handle pressure situations with relative calm. A last-minute turnover, a wild shot, a stupid play, may create ripples rather than waves. When the urgency is real though, you’ll feel anxious and motivated to act. Otherwise stressful events are there to challenge and encourage you.
Most likely, your selfesteem and selfimage appear sound and you’re likely to assess yourself realistically (be it good or bad.) Clearly you’re one of those people who value functioning independently. You’ll have an abundance of patience and relate well to others. Moreover, you seem to have a superior ability to protect yourself from life's slings and arrows.
Although not prone to emotional swings (which makes you easier to live with) there’s a danger that having too much ‘protective armour’ can make you insensitive to what’s going on around you. It could even deaden or anesthetise many areas of your life, most crucially in intimate relationships.
If your total score is 1 or 2 points only, you may not (for example) recognize the anxieties, tensions, depressions and dependencies that others feel. While you may be a model of competence with everything under control, don’t make the mistake of taking others for granted. If you do, then you may not be as efficient as you think.
Which is not to say you shouldn’t value your sense of equanimity but don’t try (or pretend) to be perfect, for you may have become so self-satisfied that you’ve completely failed to realize your true potential. While being overly laid-back may be your default disposition, if you fail to acknowledge such problems in certain areas of your life there’s a danger that the world you get along with so well, could crumble at the edges.
There's a rub to all of this. In an ideal world you would avoid people who didn't share your sense of balance but it's not an ideal world - and you’re relating in close proximity with all manner of people. Some of them may have emotional problems, such as being prone to anger, anxiety or even compulsive rage. Such people can throw you offbalance making you irritated, frustrated and anxious when dealing with them, especially if you part of a team situation. However you have the capacity to adjust, and with your equitable emotional balance, you should adjust and cope with the sort of people described above.
A score above 8 puts you on the emotionally labile side of things. The closer to 16 your score, the more emotional you’re likely to be. A score above 13 suggests a tendency towards extremity.
By and large your emotional stability is sufficient for you to cope with life and its frustrations in an adaptable manner. But it also seems you can experience emotions in ways that transcend the normal levels most of us occasionally know and feel in everyday situations. While you may take life in your stride you may also suffer anxiety and tension and consequently, may stumble when the road becomes rocky.
Unfortunately people with very high anxiety levels are rarely at ease with others or with themselves. The higher your score the higher your level of anxiety will be, a trait that can dominate even taint your social and personal and sporting relationships. And you may construe ordinary situations as ominous and everyday or common frustrations as hopelessly difficult.
Not surprisingly, your sports performance can be significantly impacted by overly anxious or negative thoughts. Increased physiological arousal can increase pre-performance nerves and high anxiety-prone athletes may carry these feelings through into competition itself.
The closer to 16 points your score the more your performance suffers especially under high-intensity pressure. You’re likely to be emotionally reactive and will need to keep on top of your emotional regulation at all times. Really high scorers probably allow their negative emotional reactions to linger well after competitions are over, and it may even put them in a bad mood for days.
Off the sports field and more generally, although there are times when you can relax there may be more frequent situations where you feel worried, perhaps even depressed. You may find it difficult to pay attention or think clearly to the point that your efficiency and productivity are reduced.
Here’s another thing. Emotions can fuel internalised feelings of anger over trivial matters that may leave you susceptible to acute fears such as mixing with crowds, travelling on planes, trains or over bridges. You may also experience migraines, headaches, ulcers, etc.
One theory has it that at the root of threats to health and happiness is a low level of selfesteem and a lack of self-confidence. This clouds objectivity about the person you really are or as in some cases, the person other people see. If you fall into the latter category try not to look at yourself through other people's eyes thinking they see you as dislikeable. Truth is that others are unlikely to see anything of the sort. What they may be seeing in you is someone who is unforthcoming, or shy and doesn't want to mix much.
No doubt you are able to recognize your good qualities but there may be aspects about yourself that might concern you. This could result in your being moody, unhappy and worried about the way you live your life, socially and privately and not just on the sports field.
You’ll take a big step forward by focusing on your qualities, talents and assets and identifying ways to become the person you really are, rather than the one others expect you to be. You’ll also be less dependent on them for approval. The good news is that in the sports arena, rewards can be prompt and visible. And your teammates will help you towards more positive outcomes, by directing the energy that you may be squandering when worrying about things that may never happen.