Chances are you’ve probably heard the adage “the poorer the self-esteem the bigger the problem.” Yes, generally speaking, it’s true.
While our self is central to our thoughts, feelings and the way we behave, the question you need to answer is whether you’ve ever tried to discover your inner-self? Or how to change all those things about yourself that you might want to change?
Most elite athletes set an extremely high bar for themselves, which often benefits their performance. For many though, perfectionist standards amplify their anxiety levels because of the differences between their ideal and their current self. Especially for those athletes whose self esteem depends on competence rather than on a respect and love for themselves.
What then of the athlete with a poor self esteem? Have you seen her criticize friends, teammates, and coaches as a modus operandi? Or does he criticize himself as a default position?
Sadly, a lack of self-esteem often boils down to a distortion of one’s self-image although most athletes with this problem do not see it this way. They claim that their self-image is not distorted but simply inadequate. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, your self-perception might be mistaken.
Ask yourself whether you behave in ways that puts you at odds with your coach or out of step with your team? Or whether you underperform and fail to achieve anything like your full potential? Or let an unsatisfying event in your personal life spill over and alienate you from your inner self?
If you come up with yes answers to these short examples, then not only are you are taking legitimate first steps towards recognizing who you are, but it presupposes that your persona is somehow detached from the personality you think you know and understand.
What to do?
To maximize full potential an athlete first of all needs to get in touch with their inner selves and then behave and relate differently to fellow athletes. While a skilled and insightful coach may help put the pieces of your mental jigsaw together they can’t know what it’s like to be the your head. The only person who can achieve this - is you.
If you want to improve your self-esteem, which can lead to an improved performance, here are some suggestions help you on your way.
- Everyone can’t like us. There are certain athletes, coaches or even teams who may dislike us.
- We can't always be right. Sometimes we do things that deserve criticism.
- We can't begin to deal with criticism or dislike, unless we try to understand it.
- We can't recognize "imagined" slights or dislike them until we have attempted to understand them.
- We can't understand them until we have tried to rationalize them.
- We can't rationalize them in a vacuum: our self-esteem has to do with how we interact with others – especially our sporting companions.
- We can't improve our self-esteem at the expense of others in our around us. Some athletes may (and probably do) have a lack of self-esteem too.
- And more generally:
- If you keep telling yourself that you’re not so great, you’ll eventually believe it. Dispense with negative self-talk, challenge your thinking and rebuild by switching to positive self-talk.
- If you compare yourself to other athletes - stop! While it may be tempting to measure your own prowess against them find your strongest niche and develop it as hard as you can.
- Perfection is the enemy of good. Don’t strive for it because of unrealistically high standards that you set yourself. Rather, focus on what you can change. There’s no point wasting all that time thinking about what you can’t do!
- Celebrate small victories– a good shot here a timely assist there. Begin small and work your way up. You cannot achieve gigantic strides overnight, however driven (or impatient) you are!
- Finally be sure to surround yourself with supportive people. Don’t let a critical coach bring you down or trigger a run on negative thinking. Everyone makes mistakes and you’re no different. If you mess up, don’t beat yourself up. Just learn from it and move on.